So I went on a date last night with this girl. The social awkwardness of the first date was subsiding and she was excitedly talking about her advancement within her career. I was congratulating her and inspired by her drive to further herself. But then…

Girl: (Still talking passionately about opportunity)

Me: That’s great news, congratulations! I don’t really know much about nursing but I’m guessing you’ll get a pretty good pension plan set up as well?

Girl: Umm, I’m not sure really. I don’t like to think of ‘old people’ stuff. RSPs or whatever they’re called. I’m too young to think about it.

Me: (Wanting to bang head on table) You should, the younger the better to really maximize your future.

Girl: (Changes subject and talks about other things)

Me: (Sip beer, smile casually) (I want out! I want out!)

Now first of all, if I’m analyzing dates on here I’m probably not going to be going on very many. (That could be a good thing if most dates end up like that; I don’t feel like spending time and money when I could instead have a date with some good literature or my geeet’rrr)

But I wanted to reflect on this scenario for a couple of reasons. In any given situation in life you can take certain points and learn from them. I’ll share a couple of points I took from it.

  1. People are clueless. Okay harsh. But seriously, think outside of the box. Companies will offer a lot that too few people take advantage of. Group RRSPs, company matched contributions and even other benefits we are oblivious to. Don’t choose a job because company A pays $1 more per hour vs. company B that has a kick-ass medical plan and matches RRSP contributions. There are other aspects to consider like the perks a company offers its employees and the potential for growth within. You had an offer with this company, but took a position with this other company that offered 1$ more an hour? Did you really look at what you get aside from starting wage with each company? No? Then you’re an idiot.
  2. When were young, we are so naive. Nobody wants to think of being old. Really, getting old scares the shit out of me. I don’t like to think of an old decrepit me, but I know that I’m going to have to make sound decisions to structure a decent life in my older years. It’s important to take interest in where you’ll be going in the future.
  3. Know if somethings worth your time and energy. I didn’t really feel much of a connection with this girl to begin with, but I thought I’d chance it and see how it went. Initially we didn’t really click, and deep down I felt that it wasn’t worth pursuing anything to begin with. When you do things in life, it’s important to know whether the return will be worth what you put in. Why are you doing it, and how is it going to benefit you? I guess having a social interaction and putting myself in an uncomfortable situation was something I wanted, even knowing damn well that it wasn’t going to work. And with that;
  4. We gain from any given experience. Good or bad. Pause and reflect. Life can be rewarding, and it can chuck a lot of shit at you. What can you learn? I really wasn’t interested in the date I was going on but I told myself it’s probably a good idea to try it out. It’s been a long time since I have met with anyone new anyways. So even though there’s no future with it, I learned that I can find comfort in interacting with new people. I realized that if there isn’t any chemistry to begin with, there probably isn’t going to be any future. Wherever you go in life, and whoever you choose to go along with, should match up with your interests, values and your beliefs. It’s better to enjoy what you are doing and who you share experiences with than to settle for something that doesn’t ultimately mesh up with who you are.
  5. There’s no rush. Life is not a race. Slow down and try not to take things for granted. Friends around me are IMHO marrying fairly young, securing jobs they don’t enjoy and seem to be caught up in a rat race. I say pull out of the race and go at your own pace. Figure out who you are and focus on what you’re doing. The minute you feel you need to rush into things you lose out on the power of really learning from your surroundings. Yes, somehow I did reflect on this from a date. I don’t need to rush back into a new relationship. I have time to enjoy what I want to do, and focus on pursuing the things I want for myself. I am grateful for this. 

Maybe I should add a point that addresses not to publicly analyze your dating life. I’m sure if any potential dates are reading this they’ll be skeptical to go out with me. But then again, who cares? Being independent is freaking awesome!

 

Later days,

-Jason

 

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